Written on the basis of doctoral research on 21 stay-at-home fathers, this article focuses on men's difficulties in managing a positive self-image that prescinds from reference to professional work roles, both vis-à-vis themselves and in relation to others. We will shed light on the persistence of norms on the sexual division of labour which show through on the level of interactions with others in and outside of the domestic context ; we will also examine the strategies that stay-at-home fathers employ in reducing the identitary and relational import of the lack of legitimacy they are confronted with. We shall place particular accent on the role played by reference to professional work, both in defining self “for self” and in the presentation of self to others. In conclusion, an original definition of gender identity will be proposed.